This is for Erica: :-)


http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=i_robot

I will have no access to the internet during the move, so please call my cell phone if you want to communicate with me. I'm done at the Quality Inn!!!!!! God damn, but I'm nervous about grad school.

*** H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y   E R I C A ***

So I always get beat posting a Birthday message first, but oh well ...
Happy Birthday anyways Erica :)  
 
Sig: How was the wedding & vacation? Hope you had fun!
Urs: How was your birthday? Hope you had a good time!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ERICA

Did your mom call and sing to you too?

On my birthday, I got a happy birthday message from my mom in the morning where she sang to me, then my dad tried to sing to me when I talked to him but he stopped half-way though. It was "Happy Birthday to us"

Happy birthday to Signe, Lauren, Urs, and Jacob :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, URSY
 
In other news, I was supposed to go out with Jamie tonight, enjoying 2 for 1 margaritas and singing karaoke, but she is MIA. Bitch. My guess is that she's either in Wausau sucking Big B's cock or she was abducted by probe-happy aliens. Regardless of circumstances, I feel slighted.
 
GIRLZ- I would love to partake of the upcoming festivities, but since it's in the Ripon/Oshkosh area, I will be unable to join you (hence my nudging for a Point/Rapids Girlz Night)..  I have to work Thursday at the camps until 8-ish in the PM and at Kmart on Friday, 7:30 AM. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, URS!!!

Sig, what happened to your website? I can't find it.

There's a line in "I Sing For the Things" when Stevie Nicks rasps, "I'll take off my cape for you." I've heard it hundreds of times, probably, but I've never actually thought about it until just now, when I heard it - in the sense that I noticed it and comprehended it - for the first time.

I thought something like, "I'll take off my cape for you?" What the hell kind of sexual innuendo is that? Is this woman for real? Somewhat surprisingly, I've concluded that yes, Stevie Nicks is for real. Eccentric, maybe, but real.

It almost makes me want to be her. I mean, there's actually a woman somewhere in this world wandering around in a cape, thinking nothing of it, at this very moment. I guess it's just another reason to adore her. (Secondary, of course, to her awesome/melancholy voice and her amazing use of imagery.)

So...how do you think one would go about peeing in some of those getups?

The more I hear about this "I, Robot" movie, the more disappointed I am. The one good thing about this movie is that is increasing the popularity of the collection of short stories from which it takes its name. Publisher's Weekly has this to say about the book's recent rise in sales: "Few books have relied so much on a movie brand that has so little to do with its book." I'm wondering if I should punish myself by going to see this movie. On the one hand, Isaac Asimov tells great robot stories. On the other hand, the previews and reviews I've seen have almost nothing to do with the stories I've read. Can somebody please make a robot movie that isn't based on either "Pinnochio" or "Frankenstein"?

Hey Girls - I'm proposing another Girlz Night at my place sometime between August 6th and the 12th. Jacob will be taking a little trip out to Denver and I'll be husbandless and wouldn't mind some company - I'll even cook for you and make you fancy drinks! Let me know and I'll put something together for everyone I promise it'll be a great time!

In other news...there's a form on Herb Kohl's website that one can fill out to send him an email that he'll probably never read. There's a drop-down menu for the subject heading. "Aesbestos" is a choice for the subject, but "Gay Rights" (or anything remotely similar) doesn't have its own heading. I selected "Civil Rights" as the closest option. Anyway.

I had a very disconcerting experience today. I wish I had been more alert when it happened so that things could have gone differently. OK. Here's what happened. I was still in bed, in the middle of some dream that I can't remember. Anyway, the phone rang and - in an uncharacteristic move - I actually got out of bed to answer it.

Me: "Hello?"
Guy with High Squeaky Voice: "Hi. Are your mom and dad around?"
Me: "No...can I take a message?"
Guy: "Well, maybe you can help. Do you know what same-sex marriage is?"
Me: "Yeah..." (This reminds me of the time the Ph.D. asked me if I knew where Oklahoma was.)
Guy: "It's sick, that's what it is."
Me: "Ummm..."
Guy: "Well, there's a vote tomorrow..." blah blah blah

The guy claims that there's a vote tomorrow in the legislature concerning the fate of same sex marriage, and he encouraged me to call Kohl and Feingold to oppose it. I was only half paying attention to him because I was stunned and still mostly asleep. Anyway, what's that all about? Shouldn't I have heard about this? Shouldn't Lauren or Aidan or Curt or SOMEONE have informed me? Either the government is very sly, or I'm very stupid, or this guy is nuts.

I'm pissed off that it didn't occur to me to say, "No, buddy, you're sick" followed by a tirade about human rights and such. I wish this guy would call my Lesbin (or Lauren). He'd get an earful. I should have given our their numbers, touting them as staunch supporters of this kind of legislation. But I was mostly asleep. So I just said "ummmmm" and let him explain for a second or two before I hung up on him without so much as a "fuck you" or a "good bye." God dammit. I always miss my opportunities.

Happy Anniversary Lisa and Jacob!

(and Dan too though I doubt he reads this)

Guess what. I went skinny-dipping and some scary psycho-killer arrived and tried to get all up in our shit...or something. All I know is, he had a sinister, evil voice, thereby making me think he was a cop, but he WASN'T, and it was SO eerie...cuz we were out in the middle of nowhere, in a very, very, very secluded place...in the woods. So. The moral of the story is...hmm...that people should stop being evil devil-spawn and let me swim naked in peace.

I thought you kids might like to see the pictures I took in Monroe, Michigan.





I really wish my hair wasn't blowing in my face in that last picture. Anyway, that's Jeannie's house. This whole endeavor made me realize just how easy it is to stalk people. I marched into a gas station, asked for a phonebook, looked up Jeannie's address, and asked the gas station attendant for directions. Jeannie's neighbor lady didn't even ask us any questions when we started taking pictures of the house.

It's Lauren's birthday!!! Happy Birthday Lauren!

Speaking of Lauren and her birthday, LJ had quite the interesting one this time. Let's just say that her sheets probably don't smell too nice right now since they're soaked in Lauren-Vom...and...yeah. That's all I'm sayin about THAT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!!!

I tried to call you three different times to tell you that in person (or, as "in person" as a phone call can be), but you didn't answer. And your voice mail is stupid and keeps telling me that "This subscriber is unable to receive messages at this time." How lame. Anyway...maybe I'll try again later. We'll see.

I was recently made aware that I have the ability to crush souls with a single glance. Apparently Rita was very alarmed the night of the encounter with the Magical Indian, because she told Justin all about my soul-crushing stare. I didn't really believe him, but he says it's true. He says I've never used it on him (which is good, because I want my husband's soul intact) but he has witnessed me use it on others. I've decided that it's swell to be able to destroy people merely by looking at them. I'm still not sure it's true, but it may be why people have labeled me "scary" in the past.

We had a meeting at work today. First of all, it was at 3:00 in the afternoon, which when you work the night shift is the equivalent of 3:00 in the morning. Secondly, we're leaving in a few weeks and I don't care about anything they have to tell me. The meeting was mostly about the things we're doing wrong and the fact that the hotel is making less money than it did last year at this time. If they want to know why they aren't making money they can start with the facts that the hotel is a shithole, it's in a shitty location, and gas prices give traveling the same appeal as being raped up the asspipe. They're remodeling, which is good, but they also need to fire all the housekeepers and hire ones that actually clean the rooms. They also need to give the housekeepers more than 24 minutes to clean each room, athough according to my manager that is a generous amount of time as other franchises give their housekeepers 12 minutes to clean each room. They also made the brilliant request that we vacuum the lobby in the middle of the night. Seeing as how the people in the rooms next to the lobby would come down and beat me retarded, I don't think I'll be doing that. They asked if we would be coming back after we were done with school. That's exactly what I was planning on doing. I'm going to get my Master's degree in entomology and come back to work at the Quality Inn. That would be fabulous.

Jon Stewart and his wife just had a baby, and what did they name it? Nathan Thomas Stewart.

Oh, and I have put my blog back online: http://ursalicious.blogspot.com/

I feel like a terrible cliché: I now have a cell phone and a dress I can't wear until I lose a few pounds. (At least it's not little and black.) What's happening to me?

Hope everyone had a Happy 4th of July! This year we spent our 4th in Rapids. We saw Shaylyn Matthews (Gildenzoph) and her husband, Jared Matthews. She is very pregnant and due the day before my birthday! We also saw Lauren's exchange student, Venessa, along with tons of other crapids 'creatures.'

Jacob and his friend Joel rediscovered Sparkler Bombs. Jacob and his friends used to try to make these when they were younger. Well they finally worked! The internet suggested taping 80-100 sparklers together and then taping them to propane tanks. Luckily for me my husband decided to use only 6 and see what happened with JUST 6 of them here. The video doesn't really capture the rattling of the windows in the house we were at!

Sig just sent out the mail with the pics of Dan's kid - Ezekiel James, meaning that its a boy. Here are some thumbnails linking to the actual pics (I saved them on my file space)

If you guys want a really great cartoon you should check out penny-arcade.com. This shit is Lisa-running-to-the-bathroom, me-in-a-pile-on-the-floor hilarious.

Wednesday night at work a guest came in and decided that he would use his American Indian magical healing powers to cure me of my cold. I was training in the girl who will take over my job once I leave for grad school, and I think this was her first wierdo.

Magical Indian: "You look sick."
Me: "Yeah, I have a cold."
Magical Indian: "You know what you do to get over it?"
Me: "Not much; I have to wait for the virus to run its course."
Magical Indian: "That's bullshit. You go to the north side of a lake and look for mint."
Me: "Oh?"
Magical Indian: "I'm an Indian. Chippewa. I can heal you."
Me: "uh-huh."
Magical Indian: "I have a healing aura. Here." (He reaches his hand out to me and grabs my hand, squeezing it for a few moments.) "There, see? All better."
Me: "Yeah, that's great."
Magical Indian: "You have to have a positive attitude. I don't think you have a very positive attitude."
Me: "Um..."

This guy also told us how if we are lost and starving in the woods the only animal we can eat raw is a porcupine. They are slow so you can club them with a stick. Then you tear the skin with your teeth, but make sure not to eat the guts. In case you guys are ever starving in the woods, this may save your life.

Gah! the google banner up there has an ad that talks about allowing parents to choose the gender of their baby. The idea of that is just stupid! Other than wanting a healthy baby, people shouldn't expect their children to be anything. For instance, if my kids are gay, I won't give a damn, AT ALL. I don't care if I have a boy or a girl, or if s/he happens to be trangender. I might be concerned about some of the social risks for an intersexed kid, but I wouldn't try to change that kid, I'd just be prepared for teasing and whatnot.

Parent's have to take what they get, and as long as the kid is healthy, they shouldn't be disappointed with it ever.

Does anyone know if Dan had a boy or girl? It's hard to imagine him being married let alone being a father!